Communication with people is an art, so to master it, you need to know many subtleties and have special skills. Many of these skills seem to have nothing to do with communication. However, it is their presence that makes people brilliant speakers and interesting conversationalists. What will help us “pump” our communication skills?
Sherlock Holmes only had one glance at a person to find out all the ins and outs about him or her. However, not only detectives need observance, because noting the features of behavior, appearance, facial expressions of the interlocutor are essential. We can conclude what style it is best to communicate with a specific person. Also, observation is closely related to memory – another essential quality of a good conversationalist.
The more information we remember about a person, the more successful our communication will be. Remembering everything the other person has told you will help you demonstrate your interest in them. He or she will be sincerely flattered and feel valued. Any advice is to note things that you discuss in any chat messenger, for instance, NEEO Messenger. Afterward, when you finally meet, you can fascinate your interlocutor with the information you know about him or her already.
“Oh, I don’t understand anything about this!” After such words, few will want to continue their exciting story about football, healthy eating, or the latest international news. You don’t need to be a broad-based expert to understand the most diverse aspects of life. Interesting interlocutors do not become isolated in their little world – they are interested in what is happening around and can keep up a conversation on any topic. Even though you are not well-aware of a specific subject, you can ask questions and get invaluable new information.
The ability to read the emotions of the interlocutor can be-called sensitivity, although it is one of the consequences of observation. Psychologist Paul Ekman, who has consulted with CIA and FBI investigators, has achieved unprecedented heights in this skill. He revealed how the slightest contractions of the facial muscles betray our true feelings and thoughts. His books became so popular that, based on these purely scientific works, a popular series shot about an independent expert who knows how to accurately-identify lies. Everyone can master this art – for everyday life, it is enough to learn to see basic emotions and know the basics of body language. To learn more about this aspect of communication – find one of his shocking books!
Continuous communication skills training
Researchers from Oxford found that an average, each person regularly interacts with 20 people. They are friends and acquaintances, family members, colleagues, and neighbors. Scientists even scanned the brains of volunteers and found that those whose social circle is broader than average, show increased activity of neurons in the brain area responsible for communication functions, as well as better communication between different parts of the brain. It is not an innate quality, but the result of regular communication skills training. The more people we chat with, the easier it is for us to find a common language with them. Look for opportunities to talk to strangers, people from a wide variety of social backgrounds, and those whose interests differ markedly from yours. Chatting with strangers will make you a more flexible conversationalist!
Body language is the key to success
What you say is important, but more important is how you do it. Imagine a speaker who is hunching over and muttering to himself – how many will listen to his words? Sometimes non-verbal signals are much more important than words. When assessing the interlocutor, we not only listen to what he is talking about – we subconsciously pay attention to his posture, voice timbre, and speech speed. Basic non-verbal signs are universal. They are perceived the same all over the world. Notice them and become the best interlocutor ever!