Are you feeling anxious and stressed about your divorce? Are you trying to find ways to divorce amicably and move forward with your life?
Splitting up with someone is a tough situation that requires delicate compromising from both parties. It isn’t always possible to find a way to divorce on good terms but there are several things you can do to make it easier.
Listed down below are all of the best tips for an amicable separation. Keep reading to find out more.
Understand the Necessary Paperwork
The first step to an amicable divorce is to take the time to sit down together and go through all of the paperwork you’ll need to fill out. Different places require different papers so you must figure it all out so that neither of you can blame the other for not fulfilling your part.
For example, you’ll want to make sure you learn more about the Philippine divorce requirements if one of you is from the Philippines and the other is from another country.
Be Fair to One Another
It’s a good idea to remember that you’re not the only one hurting during this process. Both of you are losing something and it’s stressful for everyone involved.
That’s why you want to make the effort to be fair to the other party. When you take the time to think about the other person’s point of view, it’s much easier to divvy up belongings and finances since you’re no longer trying to ‘win’. Instead, you’re trying to compromise.
Take Breaks to Cool Down
During separation and divorce, conversations often get heated. It’s a difficult situation, so it’s not surprising when conversations turn into arguments. When the insults begin, it’s vital to your mental wellbeing that you both take a break to cool down before things go beyond repair.
Agree to meet up again in an hour or even a few days. Don’t force yourself to continue with a conversation that’s only bound to get worse as time goes on. It’s much better to tackle the conversation again with calm nerves and cool heads.
Use Written Communication Methods
Sometimes it’s impossible to hold a civil conversation with each other since things are so volatile. If this is your current situation then your best option is to use writing as your main method of communication rather than speaking to each other face-to-face.
This allows you to think about your words before sharing them with the other person, eliminating the chance of sudden insults and bickering. It’s an easy way to keep everything calm and professional even when emotions are high.
Writing a letter is better than sending texts or emails because it takes more time to write down the words. This aids you in finding the right way to say something before sending it to the other person.
Find a Middle Ground
As you work together to figure out the best way to split up, you want to focus on a compromise with every interaction. This isn’t a battle that anyone is meant to lose or win. This is a way for you both to move forward with your lives without causing more disruption or anger.
If you both go into each interaction with the idea of finding a fair middle ground, you’ll have a much easier time getting to a resolution that makes both of you feel better.
Don’t Use Your Children as Pawns
Whenever there are children involved in a divorce, the stressful situation gets even more difficult. You’ll both want to put in extra effort to keep everything civil whenever the children are nearby. Divorces are stressful for children since they notice social cues far better than we realize.
This is why it’s important the neither of you use the children against the other. It distresses a child when they’re used as a pawn in a fight and it also brings a higher level of toxicity to your interactions with your ex.
The best way to stop any of this from happening is to make an agreement with each other that you’ll never use the kids as a ploy to hurt the other person.
Ask a Third Party During Stalemates
Even if you both do your best to remain cordial with one another, you may still run into situations where neither party wants to bend. When you run into a stalemate, it’s good to get another person to help smooth things over instead of fighting about it for the next few weeks.
Sometimes this third party is a mutual friend and other times it’s better to wait for a judge ruling. Regardless of who helps with the situation, you both must agree to listen to the third party’s decision to help your divorce move along.
Surround Yourself With Positive Support
For your mental wellbeing, you’ll want to stay in contact with all of your friends and family during the divorce. Trying to forge ahead alone only leads to further stress and depression. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when necessary.
You’ll want to make sure that your support group understands that you want the divorce to be amicable. There shouldn’t be any finger-pointing or arguments started by anyone in your group of supporters. This would only increase animosity between both sides.
Instead, ask your friends and family to remain positive in their support so that the divorce is as civilized as possible.
Finding a Way to Divorce Amicably Is the Best Result for Everyone
It’ll take extra effort and time to divorce amicably but it’s important to try. Your divorce affects many people in your life, including your friends, family, and children. Plus, it’s better to find a way to go through the divorce on good terms since it makes the entire process less stressful.
Make sure to share this guide with your ex so that you both are on an even playing ground and know how to move forward together.
If you’re looking for other life tips and advice, check out the rest of our blog.